I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
