I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
