Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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