I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
The beer is more important than you right now.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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