i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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