I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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