so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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