Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We talked him into tasing himself.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
