THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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