Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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