Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
