So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
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Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
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He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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