I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I love you.
Bad choice
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
