I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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