I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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