i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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