Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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