Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
