some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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