Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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