Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
