How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
