I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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