he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
