I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
