Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
