True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
