You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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