They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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