She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
