No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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