after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
