You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
