Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Are my feet made of real feet?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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