Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
they need to just BURY HIM!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
