RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
