i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
