I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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