My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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