Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
