Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
