i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
