I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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