the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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