I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
