Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
