I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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