Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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