Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
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You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
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Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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