I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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