come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
