Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
