With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
