Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
