I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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