Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
