she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
