I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
