After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
