Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
