You're completely useless in the revolution.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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